Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
