suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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