3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
