She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
