So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
