he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just pee around me
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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