That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
