I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
