Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
