I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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