I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
