I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
