someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
