I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
