They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
