When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
