i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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