you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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