giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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