Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Randomize
