I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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