And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
