My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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