My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
