i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
