Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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