yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I think I just shit out all my problems.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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