i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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