playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
this will be a night to untag.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
