there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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