I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
