At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
When are your genitals available?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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