? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
