all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
