you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
