Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
