shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Dear god my vagina.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
