i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Come see our sink grown plant.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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