then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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