hell yes lets make some ravioli
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he thought i was a dude.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
