i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
