Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
