Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
