1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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