I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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