It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
