the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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