Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Randomize
