Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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