Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
