how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
