I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
