when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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