I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
