Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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